a collection of wonderful things - ii

I think I'm going to make this into regular 'feature', if I remember to collect the orts of my browsing every week. Anyway, enjoy this week's feast of esoteric delights, denizens of the internet!


Crowd Farms

Geostationary banana over Texas

i hope this is a joke

Why Mommy is a Democrat

One word: propaganda.

Now, I'm not a republican OR democrat. In fact, the whole "2 parties" thing really bugs me. But that's not the point: The point is that this 'book' is bizarre and funny and sad and just makes me go "Wow." all at the same time.

big sale

Fred starts his first day as a salesman at Super-Mega-Mart, the store that sells everything. The sales manager shows him around, how to write up sales orders, where the break room is, etc. He tells Fred to remember that customer service is king at Super-Mega-Mart so whatever the customer needs Fred needs to find it and sell it to him. He promises to stop back by and check on Fred periodically but due to one urgent matter or another he doesn't come back until the end of the day to ask Fred how many sales he made.

FRED: Only one.

MANAGER: Only one?! That's terrible! You'll never last at Super-Mega-Mart at this rate. How much was the sale for?

FRED: $48,619.54

MANAGER: Holy Smoke! How did you sell that much merchandise to one customer?

FRED: Well, first he needed some bait so I took him to the sporting goods department and got him some worms. He needed a fishing pole to put the bait on so I got him one as well as some line, hooks and sinkers. Then he needed a boat to fish out of so I took him to the boat sales department and got him a bass boat, outboard motor and trailer. Then he realised his Ford Focus would not pull the trailer so I took him to the car sales department and sold him a new truck with a towing package. Then off he went.

MANAGER: That is incredible! You sold all that to a guy who came in for a $1.75 pack of bait?

FRED: He didn't come here for bait, he came here for tampons.

MANAGER: How could you sell all that to a guy who came in for a pack of tampons?

FRED: When he asked where the tampons were I said "Dude, your weekend's shot, you may as well go fishing".

coffee-eww

(*Thought process of the guy who invented coffee: "I have an idea. Let's pick these red cherry things, then dry them in the sun for a week or two, then throw away the fruit and keep the seed, then bake the seed for ten minutes, then grind up the burnt seed, then pour hot water through it, and then drink the brown liquid.")

via Wohba

sixtyTen

Reversial has finished his new wordpress theme! Go, all my fellow avid (and not-so-avid) bloggers! Go download it right... now!

4:11 - on hold

Uhh... Yeah. I lost my watch that I was using as an alarm, so I'm unable to continue until I get a new one. I'll let all you inhabitants of the blagosphere know the minute (the minute!) I get another alarm-thing.

a collection of wonderful things - i

In celebration of my impending birthday, I present to all you imaginary readers this week's collection of wonderful things. Enjoy.



ef·flu·ence /ˈɛfluəns/ [ef-loo-uhns]
-noun
1. the action or process of flowing out; efflux.
2. something that flows out; emanation.


abecedarian
(ey'-bee-see-dair'-ee-un) adj. 1a: of or relating to the alphabet. b: alphabetically arranged. 2: rudimentary.


pule
(pyool) v.i. to whine or whimper.


gribble
(grib'-ul) n. a small marine isopod crustacean (Limnoria lignorum or L. terebrans) that destroys submerged timber.

Pi

Cadaeic Cadenza. An amazing piece of literary work.

cephalapod

Swaying softly, its
Tentacles wait gently for
A tender morsel.

another year

My birthday's coming up soon. September 24! Time to start bugging people...

analog days

Yup, I switched to film. My little digicam is almost completely dead, so now I'm using a nice SLR: a Nikon N60. Take a look at the first roll of film at flickr.

'cause some people don't have maps

once again

…I am among the unwashed masses. School started yesterday!

Things of note:

- School lunch is now just under a kajillion times better than last year's lunch.
- Everything else is about the same.